Lincolnshire’s Kitchen

In honour of Lincolnshire Day (1 October 2017)

Haslet, sausage, gingerbread
Poacher cheese and more
Plum bread, stuffed chine, all washed down with
Pints of Bateman’s beer for sure

Lincoln red beef, Lincoln blue
Not forgetting Cote Hill cheese
With samphire grown out near the Wash
Down from Grimsby fish smokeries

Pipers crisps, Dennett’s ice cream
Asparagus in fields
With tates and Lincolshire carrot pud
So much this county yields

Less not forget the humble fruit
That fell from apple tree
Prompting Newton to thus define
The force of gravity

 

Advertisement

Sour Grapes

The only way to take your grapes
Is as a glass of wine.
For sour grapes just don’t hit the spot
And really just ain’t fine
So trample grapes all softly
Sit back and then enjoy
A glass of red or white or pink
A taster to employ
A means to otherwise forget
Those ones that might be sour
For grapes in wine are better – yes?
At any time or hour!

Fryday

I’ve heard it said it’s Fryday
A day traditionally
When fish is said to be the choice
Of food that’s served for tea

All wrapped up in white paper
And served with deep fried chips
A battered cod and mushy peas
To make you lick your lips

So head down to your chippy
And give your cook a rest
Where Fish and Chips for ‘Fryday’s’ tea
Promises to be the best!

Traditional Fish ‘n’ Chips (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Edible Hedgerow

The time of year is ripe to find
An edible hedgerow
With brambles, elderberry’s and
Of course the well-known sloe

The time of year when with a bit
Of luck and patience too
The cupboards can be stocked again
With goodies free to you

From bramble jelly to a drink
Of cordial – sure to win
But first a drop; aperitif
Of fine homemade sloe gin!

English: Hedgerow, Kirkstead Sloe berries. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Waiter

Meet the attentive waiter ……

Please take a seat
This one is great!
Just by the window here?
What can I get you all to drink
A wine and pint of beer
And here’s your menu
Do peruse
Though maybe you would like
The specials that are on today
Perhaps you’d care for pike!
Or maybe something else – how ‘bouts
There’s trout and salmon too
And steak – the finest in the land
Home reared in Timbuktu
And then we have the prawn salad
And Gorgonzola bake
With broccoli and runner beans
Or possibly the hake
Caught in the ocean that you see
Just yonder window there
It’s just like haddock, even cod
Oh such delicious fayre
We also make the best pizzas
They are themselves renowned
For being, some say, scrumdicious
The best that they have found
Then afterwards perhaps you’d care
To take on dessert too
There’s chocolate gâteaux and ice cream
As well tiramisu
Or lemon tart, banoffee pie
And cheesecake – boy that’s good
Whatever really you fancy
We offer such great puds!
But that’s enough or what we have
I’m sure that you will find
Something to whet your appetite
Now what is on your mind?

To which “we” reply:

Dear Waiter
Thanks for all your help
Your memory is great
Listing your fayre so perfectly
But waiter, please please wait
For all we want is a quick cup
Of coffee, maybe tea
And little Jonny wants a coke
But first he needs a wee!!!

Waiter (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Bacon Is Good For You (Or Is It?)

Bacon is good for you
Like sweets and candyfloss
And fizzy drinks and cold ice creams
Or steaks with creamy sauce

But that’s in moderation
For in bounty they will make
You feel all stodgy; much like goo
That fills in nommie cakes!

And so enjoy a chocolate bar
A glass of wine or beer
But spare some space for veg and fruit
For good health year on year

English: A chocolate cake decorated with icing, strawberries, and silvery sugar beads. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Big Bellies; Floppy Boobs!

Big bellies; floppy boobs
The need to thin on down
But is that what it’s all about
To have the stick-thin crown?

Is it all about the image?
Or more so for self-care
To disregard what the mirror says
Instead for how we fare

Accepting that some squidyness
Along with cushioned tums
Is part of life and much better
Than living on mere crumbs!

Whilst focussing on health not fat
On fitness; feeling great
On cherishing what’s underneath
Hearts, minds and other states

Not centring on measurements
Or even size zero
But more intent on how we feel
For hale and hearty hero

So big bellies; floppy boobs
Take courage; ditch the scales
Don’t care what mirror or world says
But more your health details!

#108273340 / gettyimages.com

The Barbecue Bash

So it seems that everything’s dandy
When you light up your yard barbecue
But some are quite techy and grumble
With moans of the hullabaloo

They don’t like the mass inconvenience
Of the smoke that it makes or the smell
Nor the fact you’re playing loud music
And wish that you’d just go to hell!

But in essence they’d like a kind invite
A beer and a bit of your fun
So that when you are burning the charcoals
They too can eat meat overdone!

English: Barbecue Bosanski: Roštilj Deutsch: Grill (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Deucy Strawberries

Strawberries, red and yummy ripe
All laden high with cream
Or packed in scones on pretty plates
Munched in between the screams
And ‘oohs’ and ‘aghhhs’
On tennis court
So quintessentially
As Wimbledon gets under way
With score fifteen: thirty
And deuce – so very juicy
These strawberries at their best
For summer sport with glass of Pimms
Now that is Englishness!

Strawberries (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Scon Or Scone?

Here’s one to get you talking!
Is it ‘scon’ or is it ‘scone’?
The cake that’s gone when eaten
Or the bun that sounds like cone.

Is it really that impossible
To agree on which it is?
A con in English Language
To get us in a tiz!

So whether ‘scon’ or ‘scone’
As a currant teatime treat
It just needs jam and cream – no words!
And time to sit and eat!