Don’t Take Your Kids

Don’t take your kids to Tesco
They’ll get under your feet
They’ll cost a bloomin’ fortune
As they moan and beg for sweets

Don’t take your kids to Tesco
They’ll drive you mad for sure
They’ll want to ride the trolley wheels
And zoom across the floor

Don’t take your kids to Tesco
They’ll bleed your purse all dry
They’ll run a riot in the aisles
To make each grown man cry

Don’t take your kids to Tesco
They’ll drive you round the bend
They’ll pick their nose and drool out snot
A battle to the end

#136011375 / gettyimages.com

Note:  This poem is not sponsored by Tesco nor does it represent their view – just so you know! 🙂

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Pineapple Conifers

They only had one wish in life
Three trees with egos odd
Pretending to be pineapples
With tops up to the gods

They dreamt of day when they would be
Fruit salad in a bowl
Or stuck on stick with cheesy cube
Or on the table whole

But sadly that day wouldn’t come
For though they hoped they erred
As in all truth we know that they
Are really conifers!

Photo Credit: @Richardesty (twitter)

Let’s Do The Limbo

Come on let’s do the limbo dance
Get down under the stick
With steel drums and a lot of fun
Go limbo! !Quick! Quick! Quick!

And shake a little booty
In Caribbean style
To limbo lower lower – still
‘Neath bar with beaming smile

And set yourself in motion
Let floor kiss your behind
To flex under calypso beat
With the limbo frame in mind

The Dad Dance

Come on and do the Dad dance that
Throughout all history
Has seen men in their middle years
Dance just so awkwardly

The Dad dance that they reckon is
A rite of passage true
For Dad’s to try out complex moves
But not to impress you

The Dance that waves their arms about
Their feet all in a wrap
To flail around the dance floor with
Movements that seem to flap

But let the Dads that dance this dance
Enjoy their groovy hop
And mop their brow and have some fun
To do dance til they drop!

 

Ey Up Mi Duck

I might be a little quackers
For sure mi duck you’ll see
That quacking I do ain’t so mad
But more for rivalry
To capture his attention
The drake that’s in the pack
To flirt, attract and get my man
Ey up mi duck!  Quack! Quack!

FYI: “Ey up mi duck” is a colloquialism for “Hello” from the East Midlands region of England.  Funnily enough it’s nothing to do with wildfowl but actually takes it’s origins from the Saxon word “ducas” which was meant as a term of respect akin to the word for leader “duc” which later became “duke”.  From this it therefore became a greeting before it became a term of endearment!

Did you know that it’s only the female duck that “quacks”.

A Cheeky Poem

Bottoms! Oh so many types
Some round, some huge, some twee
But still the seat of everyone
Across humanity

The cheeky rump that we obsess
With many names to call
From rear to derrière – behind
To name butt some not all

Yet save the different shapes and forms
Gluteus maximus
Remains the largest muscle that
Will alway follow us!!

Embraced By Weekend’s Kiss

I wish you all a fun weekend
Of fun and family
Of laughter and good cheer and more
Of happiness and glee

I wish you all some r n r
To chill and take a break
Some time to spend with those you love
Some time that is first rate

I wish you all pure joy and peace
A weekend of sheer bliss
Recuperate; restock; renew
Embraced by weekend’s kiss

all flickr friends, a relaxing, healthy weekend (Photo credit: dicau58)

Sea Selfie

I took a selfie by the sea
To see what could be seen
And saw a sea view behind self
That simply saved the scene
With seals all surfing seamlessly
Near sand by open sea
A seaside seascape simply said
To save the sea selfie

SEAL (Photo credit: Brianellwood1)

DABday (Draw a Bird Day)

And so today is DABday
A day that’s sure to fly
A day that’s there to spread much joy
To all birds glorify

And all that’s needed is a pad
Of paper and a pen
To draw all sorts of different birds
Perhaps even a hen

So get artistic and then share
Your work however small
On social networks all worldwide
To bring some joy to all

Today is “Draw a Bird Day”  Want to find out more?  Click here!

Time Flies!

What happened to this morning?
Where did it disappear?
Before you know the day will go?
And then the month – the year!
And after that the decade
As seasons drift on by
So watch out for the clock has wings
As time can really fly