Covicabulary

A poem to highlight words that have come to the fore in the pandemic – covid vocabulary 

A new vocab is spreading
At an R of ten or more
It’s growing exponentially
With sizeable vigour
That started when the toilet roll
Sold out in every state
As folk were told to stay at home
And to self-isolate

For a pangolin or bat it seemed
From Wuhan overseas
Had introduced a virus
To human communities
And from there, it had gone rampant
Setting off a pandemic
That was as nasty as could be
Making folk really sick

So we now must social-distance;
Wash our hands throughout the days
Less Corona dares to get us
In unprecedented ways
So whilst we shun covidiots
When they are so unwise
We won’t forget when we could only
Shop essential buys

Not forgetting that the Chancellor
Committed billions of pounds
As schools and pubs and shops and clubs
All had to shut right down
And folk were put on furlough
To stay home; watch Netflix
Though some preferred to chat on Zoom
Or workout with Joe Wicks

Still others started working
From their residential pad
With musicians hung out to dry
And others down and sad
And parents had to fathom out
Pythagoras and the like
As they taught their darling kiddiewinks
To stop a second spike!

Not forgetting all the keyworkers
Who brought in deliveries
Emptied the bins and kept on top
Of the necessitates
From the supermarket assistants
To the chemist and the rest
Who put themselves in trouble’s way
To do their very best

Whilst others had to stay inside
By shielding from the rest
With Grandparents and others
Confined in their own nests
Away from friends and family
In a measure so surreal
That lockdown for the vulnerable
Was such a harsh ordeal

But over everything else
There was a new frontline
Of doctors and of nurses
Of carers who defined
The war effort against the bug
In complete PPE
Selflessly saving lives to care
For the likes of you and me

And so together, globally
A pause button‘s been pressed
With mitigations such as masks
To help the NHS
And other healthcare systems
Who despite the quarantine
Have struggled to keep a-pace of
Noxious COVID19

So the nation has tried to flatten out
The curve that previously
They’d not heard of along with words
Like herd immunity
And so in just a few short months
The lexicon has grown
So now these words are commonplace
When they were once unknown

Covid Vocabulary

 

 

The Demise of the Memo

Wonder

I wonder as I wander
What wonders I will see
A wandering in wonderment
Midst wonderful country
A wonderwork to wonder on
Whilst wandering about
For a wonder, it’s a wonderland
Without a shade of doubt!

A Thingy

Isn’t the word thingy a marvelous word
A noun that describes  everything
From a person, an object or even a place
With a ‘je ne sais pas’ sort of ring

For the thingy’s a thing that could be anything
Yet a thing that by all things defined
Is a thingy – you know – a thingy, thing thing
When the name escapes recall and mind!

So let’s hear it for thingies all over the world
The nonsense we utter when words
Evade definition, instead being known
As a thingy – so quaint and absurd!

Spelling

Despite the odd glitch with autocorrect, I’m a bit of a stickler for correct spelling, but having come across the following sign the other day which in all fairness, in spite of the interesting spelling, remained perfectly understandable, I started to wonder if good spelling is actually as important as we make out it is in the broader sense.

My question regarding spelling
Is whether it’s important at all
For when all’s said and all is done
Do we fail to recall
Words from our massive lexicon
When letters mix a bit
Because as text and shortening show
We seem to make them fit
Into some rhyme and reason
That then makes perfect sense
So is spelling important
Or do we sit on the fence
And neither condemn or criticise
More so ensure that we
Reach out to one another
Communicatively?

So tell – what is your verdict
Putting aside a while
The rules and regulations
And rigid rank and file
Where spelling is important
Non-negotiable let’s say
With words spelt from the dictionary
Just perfect in every way
With letters all in order
Lined up in standard form
Is this of prime importance
Or can we tip the norm
And mash them just a little
Into a jumbled mess
So long as folk communicate
Less orthographic stress!

Language

What happened to the humble apostrophe?
The grammatical code that implies
That you’re is not your
And they’re is not there
Whenever it isn’t applied

What happened to spelling and structure?
As rules are abandoned and lost
Is English now English?
Or has it just gone?
And then at what price and what cost?

For it seems now that anything goes
For modern language appears to be bored
With these things that once thrived
Without second glance
All now labelled passé and ignored

Don’t Rhyme Your Poems!

She said “Don’t rhyme your poems!”
“Well why forever not?”
I answered flabbergasted
For clearly she’d forgot
The fun and the frivolity
Of mashing up wordplay
To bring about phrases that click
And tick along per se
That bounce along on the paper
And trip right off the tongue
That put a smile on faces of
The old and of the young

A means to convey messages
In flights of fantasy
That teeter on the precipice
So sentimentally
And hop and skip cross neurons
That surge throughout the brain
Much like a trigger pulled to fire
In poetic refrain
Whilst forging easy access
Succinct to memorise
To jolt the hearts and minds of all
In a cunning disguise

Whilst delighting Mr Wernicke
And thrilling Broca too
For rhyme is classless; doesn’t judge
The reader; it is true
And all it asks in sweet return
Is that you dig the beat
Get down with it all chilled; relaxed
Whilst putting up your feet
Without pretence or masquerade
That it is anything more
Than simple undiluted words
That many do adore!

Lost For Words (Haiku)

If you’re lost for words
Or the cat has got your tongue
Enjoy the silence!

Iamlilbub [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

AutoCorrect

You’re driving me crazy
You’re driving me mad
As really you make me
Look terribly bad

As you jiggle my letters
And change all my words
In ways that appear
Completely absurd

By altering statements
When you don’t agree
With the sequence or way
Of my ABC

Or all other characters
Set on a page
As you trample across it
With critique and rage

To do your most damnedest
To point out; detect
My flaws and my faults as
You AUTOCORRECT!

But perhaps for a minute
You’d climb in my head
To see what I’m thinking
More so what I’ve said

For try as you will
To read what I say
If you don’t get the flow, then
You get in my way

For there’s more to a sentence
Than words spelt just so
Called sentiment, meaning
Being in the know

So dear grammar tool with
Your huge dictionary
You too make mistakes
Occasionally!!!!

Twitter Tongue

We use abbreviations all the time now and now more so on Twitter where we are limited to 150 characters!  This poem is dedicated to “Twitter Tongue”.  It could be an epic fail but the idea is that you read the abbreviations out in full “English”.   It’s actually harder than you think to write especially as I’ve tried to get it to rhyme but good luck!  There’s a translation at the end!

YOLO
SO! LOL!
IMHO!
PPL! FTC!
B/C AFAIK
W #FF
PRT DA RT
& HAND!

Translation:

You only live once
Shout out! Laugh out loud!
In my humble opinion
People follow the crowd!
Because as far as I know
With Follow Friday
Please retweet the retweet
And have a nice day!

Free twitter badge (Photo credit: Wikipedia)