Spider spider in the night
Understand you’ll cause a fright
If you dare to reappear
When you’ve been thrown out of here
And don’t return or bring your friends
Or we’ll have to apprehend
You and yours with Dyson hose
To suck up all those legs and toes
So spider spider in the night
Stay away and out of sight!
The case of the spider who wound up in a glass
It broke in and entered without even a pass.
Then with its eight gigantic black legs and its beady black eyes
A silken web did it weave in order to surprise,
And a network of chaos did it spin through the house
That scared the man witless and even his spouse,
As with arachnophobic intent and stealth uncompared
The defendant, your worship, climbed up the stairs,
Before stealing his way into the bathroom and bath
And hiding himself in the plug for a laugh.
Then just when the poor victims got to the end of their day
They rose up the stairs to wash their grime all away.
But, yes you just guessed it, as they stepped in the tub
The spider, that vile creature, popped out with a club
And axed them to death or so it is said
Or at least attempted to do so now the story’s re-read.
For these spiders, your worship, think they have rights over man
To wander quite freely just cos they feel that they can.
They break in and enter without even a pass
And then dare to complain that they wind up in a glass!
Ginz&Tonic 