I woke this morning and measured
Whether, I am a child
For yesterday when shopping out
VAT on my bill was filed
Yes filed, I say, on school clothes
Those things we have to wear
In compulsory education
For ‘children’ everywhere!
And yet I’m not an adult
Til 18 years are reached
Or is that so, for I have heard
By 16 rules are breached
And adult rates are then charged
On buses and much more
And sex is legal so I’m told
But not voting says the law
So now at fourteen years of age
Confusion is quite rife
For I’m an adult in my clothes
But don’t get the adult life!
And then by sixteen they’ll charge me
The adult fare – it’s true
Yet I won’t be an adult then –
Well ain’t that a biased coup!
To put this in context, I have just found out that value added tax, which is supposed to be zero on children’s clothes, is actually charged at the full 20% on all school uniform (and other clothes) for children over the age of 13 in the UK which effectively renders school uniform for key stage 4 as adult clothes!!!
English: British school children in London, England (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Those snuggly little jimjams that
You wear when you’re in bed
Have found innate ability
To sway your thoughts instead
For they’re really more than night clothes
For wear throughout the day
So don’t be hard upon yourself
If it is the only way
To wear your old pyjamas out
To shops or work; no harm
That you’re jimjams have stayed on you
For they come with a sweet charm
That’s akin to comfort blankets
You had as a small child
And with that comfort thought in mind
PJ’s have been compiled
To be our softy-softy clothes
All worn with such great style
And even in the shopping mall
They win across the mile!
Well maybe not but with the rise in people wearing pyjamas to do the weekly shop, aren’t we all a little curious as to why? 🙂
I swear there is a sock goblin
Addicted to our socks
Without a care for other clothes
For pants or ladies frocks
For they don’t go a-missing
Or vanish out of sight
But leave a sock lying around
And it will just take flight
A sock will disappear at will
N’er to be found again
For these foot warmers melt away
With no-one to explain
Just where they could have got to
Or where they well might be.
But one thing for sure this goblin
Is giggling with glee
And when socks go in the washing
His eyes shine out so bright
Because somehow in the process
He’ll sock-nap them alright
And hold them all just hostage
In some place we don’t know
Laughing aloud as his antics
That leave our feet on show
So to that mischievous goblin
Please cease your wicked way
And pack up stealing all the socks
You come across each day
For though you think it’s funny
To us it is a bore
For now we’ve only got odd socks
Left sitting in our drawer
There’s only one thing for it
The children’s feet will have to go
For shoes and socks just cost so much
In the back to school big show!
And then there’s all the pencils,
Rulers, rubbers and much more
Oh goodness me, how much again?
No wonder I’m so poor!
On top of that the uniform!
And oh boy the price of it!
For trousers, blazers and a tie
Let alone the whole sports kit!
Not forgetting all the other bits
To write with or to read
Dear Lord, it’s never ending
How much more can one purse bleed!
But that’s state education
The one renowned for being free
I wouldn’t mind but here’s the thing
Money doesn’t grow on trees!
Millinery fashions. Oh my! What assortments
Such tit-for-tats sat proudly at rest
Whilst some look dashing and lovely
Other’s resemble an unkempt bird nest
Found on heads, topping off hair dos
With little aplomb in their lopsided way
They’re placed in situ awaiting
For a cuckoo to drop in and stay
But then there are those hats that are simply quite dashing
Those ravishing numbers that boast
And knock the spots off all other hats out there
With style and elegance right on the post
Along with the top hat that outlive time eternal
And the beret that’s just so oo-la-la-la
Or the trilby from jazz venues in Manhattan
Outstripping bonnets and boaters by far.
And so let’s hear it for Millinery fashions
Let’s raise a glass and say hip hip hooray
For be it baker boy cap, helmet or feather
All hats have a whole story to say
For some hats are stereotypical
Some come with labels or add their own style
Whilst others are simple unique, a one-off
And best to avoid by a mile!