Trying to learn English
Can get you quite unstuck
For whilst in one place they will say hello
Elsewhere it’s ay-up midduk
But sojourn to western regions
And there they will greet you
With a friendly nod and welcome
Of ello my lovely – true!
And try to drink a cup of tea
Well now that’s really something cool
For in London it’s a Rosie Lee
Or a cup o’ char in Liverpool
Or kippertae in Birmingham
If you fancy tea for two
But go further north and you’ll be told
They’ll make the perfect brew!
Then think again just where you are
If you want to say ‘that’s brill’
Cos in the Black Country it’s bostin
But in London, pukka takes their will.
And a ‘good one’ is a belter
In Derby so it’s said
But up in Newcastle you will find
They’ll just say Mint instead
So speaking to the English
Is about as clear as mud!
With many dialects galore
And different phrases in their blood
But one thing that covers all bases
And counts across the miles
Is a nod of recognition
And a warm and friendly smile