Lincolnshire’s Kitchen

In honour of Lincolnshire Day (1 October 2017)

Haslet, sausage, gingerbread
Poacher cheese and more
Plum bread, stuffed chine, all washed down with
Pints of Bateman’s beer for sure

Lincoln red beef, Lincoln blue
Not forgetting Cote Hill cheese
With samphire grown out near the Wash
Down from Grimsby fish smokeries

Pipers crisps, Dennett’s ice cream
Asparagus in fields
With tates and Lincolshire carrot pud
So much this county yields

Less not forget the humble fruit
That fell from apple tree
Prompting Newton to thus define
The force of gravity

 

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Teacups and Boys

Teaching boys to drink their tea
From china cups just so
Instead of swigging down like beer
Or slurping as they go
Or guzzling as in frenzied rush
In gallons from a mug
To teach them to sip and partake
Save gulping in one slug

To handle dainty handles with
A grip and not a grasp
With pinkie tucked out of the way
For gentlemanly clasp
And saucer held ‘neath cup to catch
The drips less any spills
But sadly it is not to be
So guess we’ll get the bill!

You are Your Coffee!

Look in the bottom of a cup
And tea leaves it is said
Will give an indication of
What lies on roads ahead

But drink a cup of coffee and
The way you like it best
Might show up who you really are
A real persona test

For if you drink a latte it
Is said that you will be
The kind to seek much comfort sure
Give time so generously

Or maybe cappuccino is
Your choice of coffee brew
Disclosing that you like control
The obsessive in you

Whilst those who sip at their coffee
Just black “au naturel”
Have quieter dispositions with
Moods stirred in as well

And frappocino lovers, it
Is said will set the trends
Enjoying lots of new things and
So bold around their friends

Lest those who sip from instant brew
Procrastinators sure
Will be the most laid back of all
With few plans laid in store

So introvert or extrovert
Patient; perfectionist
The way you take your coffee might
Come with a quite a twist!

Based on a study by Dr Ramani Durvasula, clinical psychologist, who conducted a study of 1,000 coffee drinkers and assessed a number of common personality styles and psychological traits.  To find out more click here or here

English: A photo of a cup of coffee. Esperanto: Taso de kafo. Français : Photo d’une tasse de caffé Español: Taza de café (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Time for Tea

Whether you’re a quaffer, a guzzler or sipper
There’s one thing for certain ‘bout tea
That wherever your are or whoever you’re with
It’s a drink that makes one feel so free

Yes free from the rat race and crazed life
And free from the mayhem so mad
When a brew hits your nose, you will curl up your toes
With a smile on your lips to be glad

And your pinkie will rise all in one go
With a tinge of the ‘how-do-you-do’
For this china affair of the tea cup just there
Will refresh in an instant – it’s true!

 

Winter Tonics

With all the winter sniffles
You can hear the chemists’ glee
As sales of drugs for coughs and colds
Go high as high can be

And as for those at Kleenex
Well their day is really made
As every sniff or large ‘atchoo’
Means tissue trades upgrade

But as the bugs arrive in force
From the ‘chills’ to winter flu
Remember that the old wives say
A tonic’s good for you

Yes tonics that they swear are great
Even if they taste quite grot
With onions, garlic, vinegar
To lessen all the snot!

Or maybe those that promise
To infuse vitality
From brews of minerals and herbs
To juices and fruit teas

So try them to be certain
You could have done no more
To combat winter viruses
A-queuing at your door!

By way of note this neither recommends the use of or vouches for any remedies or tonics etc.  Always seek medical advice if you have concerns!