Lincolnshire’s Kitchen

In honour of Lincolnshire Day (1 October 2017)

Haslet, sausage, gingerbread
Poacher cheese and more
Plum bread, stuffed chine, all washed down with
Pints of Bateman’s beer for sure

Lincoln red beef, Lincoln blue
Not forgetting Cote Hill cheese
With samphire grown out near the Wash
Down from Grimsby fish smokeries

Pipers crisps, Dennett’s ice cream
Asparagus in fields
With tates and Lincolshire carrot pud
So much this county yields

Less not forget the humble fruit
That fell from apple tree
Prompting Newton to thus define
The force of gravity

 

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No More Wrinkles

It’s been said if you stay in the water
That you’ll wrinkle up just like a prune
All creased up and furrowed and crinkled
The dawn of old age far too soon

But what if you stay there forever
And never dry out but stay wet
Would those wrinkles become rather scaly
Would you gulp like a fish and forget

Forget that you once were a human
Would you swim on the crest of a wave
Indulge in a tail and fin and a gill
And turn out as a fish, say, called “Dave”

Dave the fish!  What a legend they’d all shout
The man that turned fish overnight
From a bath where his wrinkles all dissolved
To retain all these fishy insights

Such a master, we’d bow down before him
Save the fact that we’d drown if we did
Dave the fish! Wrinkles gone and now wiped out
He’d be a hero!  All furrows now rid!

For in an instant he’d have beaten the bug bear
With resolution for old wrinkly skin
Over all that the chemists have concocted
Dave the Fish would have a straight forward win!

For with creases all gone and just vanished
And skin oh so soft as came be
We could throw out all night creams and potions
And take heed of Dave’s fish legacy!

 

Conditioning Fish

So it seems that it’s possible
To condition certain fish
To come when they are beckoned by
A ‘bell’ they reminisce

And they’ll even press a lever
For reward of extra food
At certain times of day or night
When this has been imbued

So the question that is begging
Is are they just like mice
To train in some laboratories
With clinical device

For apparently it’s been shown
Our fish can be so foxed
By training them to come when called
In a fishy Skinner’s box

Want to know what this is all about?  Why not click these links and find out more:

Fish Memories Last For Months, say Scientists

Goldfish Memory Minimyth