It’s understood this Christmas, that Santa has a prob!
For his pole is all a-melting and the sleigh won’t do its job
For without a solid runway, the reindeer will not be
Able to get the run they need to take off easily
Well it’s causing a commotion and it’s putting on a strain
For whilst making his red-nose brighter, Rudolf plugged into the mains
And used up precious fossil fuels in his attempts at vanity
Which all the other reindeer say, is a waste of energy
But in truth they are no better for it is a well-known fact
That Dasher, Dancer and Prancer were all in on the act
And Vixen, Comet and Cupid have been seen, so it is said,
Racing about in their fast cars and painting the town red
Whilst Donner and dear Blixem have sheltered from the storms
By chopping up the forests to keep themselves all warm
And the Elves too have been busy a-stoking up their fires
In their workshops as they make the toys for children to admire
So now Santa’s in a quandary, a-worrying ‘bout what he’ll do
Stomping around his grotto and getting in a stew
For the question that he’s pondering, is what if he can’t get
Out with the sleigh on Christmas night causing a huge upset!
“Oh deary me,” he falters, with heavy salty tears
That dribble down his rosy cheeks and dampen Christmas cheer
“For no-one ever listens when you tell them what will be”
He sighs so very loudly, now not feeling Christmassy!
For in fairness, he has no answers despite pulling on his beard
For it’s bad, as bad as it can get, much as he’d always feared
And so it seems this Christmas, the only hope a float
Is that Santa’s elves get busy and build him a magic boat!