My Friend Jim (Gym) … or not!

I’ve got a friend in Jim
He works me really hard
Reminds me that chocolate and wine
Are just the same as lard

He pounds the muscle mighty
And pumps the iron for sure
Then stands round laughing widely
When I’ve dropped dead on the floor

Or chuckles when I’m groaning
In his hell hall of fame
For Jim ain’t quite a normal friend
And shouts “JUST UP YOUR GAME”

And with the stick he beats me
For carrots he will say
Are “treats when you have lost that lard”
And that’s some time away!!

And so we’ve reached a compromise
He nags and I concede
For whilst he’s quite some bully
I know he’s what I need!

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The Battle Of The Bulge

When you start a new diet
You think openly
This is going to work
I’ll drop pounds – just you see

And you stick to it rigidly
Do just as your bid
Til the devil pricks consciousness
Bout the doubts you had hid

He tempts you with chocolate
Cakes even wine
Says, “Don’t worry – you’re gorgeous
And all will be fine”

“For these good things in life
Are for you to enjoy
And the weight loss can wait
For it’s just a decoy”

“It will starve you and make you
So sad” so he says
“A ruse – just ignore it”
He repeats in your head

And the idea of running
Or working out in the gym
He tells you is barmy
For your chances are slim

“Slim to achieve it
So why bother at all”
Says the devil incarnate
Pushing each one to fall!

But the strong knock him back
Say – “Devil be gone
For in part you are right
But in essence you’re wrong”

“Go dance with another
For today I will stick
With the plan that quite simply
Will get me fitter than fit”

“And keep me trim and in shape,
Lose the weight that I bear
So Devil get packing
You really don’t care”

For each knows the worth
Of losing those pounds
Not to look good in mirror
Nor the best when beach bound”

“But to save up reward
With good health to achieve
Reduce heart attack risk
And diabetes”

And maybe hold out
For a healthier you
A lighter inspired one
And that much is quite true!

Workout Wobbles

The lure of the duvet
The weight of your legs
When the gym comes a calling
Or swimming pool begs
And any old reason
Just pops in your head
To sleep a bit longer
And stay in your bed!

Yet lash out at temptation
Resist any urge
To languor and linger
Let its will not be heard
Nor conceded to; obeyed
For the longer you stay
Under cover the harder
You’ll find that workout today!

So put your mind to it
Jump up and resolve
To beat any decoys
That simply don’t solve
The matter before you
The need to get fit
And with it more healthy
Be strong and don’t quit!!!!

Oh and note to self – maybe don’t use writing a poem about it as an excuse not to go! 🙂

Health club main workout area Category:Gyms_and_Health_Clubs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Gym

I’m not one for the gym
Pumping iron and sweating so
Pressing weights that feel like lead
On machines lined up in rows

I can’t get my head around the bikes
That stay still on the spot
And those running machines, heaven forbid
They simply make me hot!

But the cross trainer, I do concur
Does as its name implies
For it makes me very “cross” indeed
As it never seems to tone my thighs!

But one thing I have noticed
Is an irony indeed
For we call the gym a leisure place
A place we chose to be

Yet when you see the punters
Getting fit and working out
They all look so very miserable
And sad without a doubt

For whilst they tone their bodies
And flex their physiques so
They forget their facial muscles
And their smiles just seem to go

So when you’re in the gym next
Forget about your hips
And instead apply a little effort
And smile by turning up your lips!