The Demise of the Memo
I wonder as I wander
What wonders I will see
A wandering in wonderment
Midst wonderful country
A wonderwork to wonder on
Whilst wandering about
For a wonder, it’s a wonderland
Without a shade of doubt!
Isn’t the word thingy a marvelous word
A noun that describes everything
From a person, an object or even a place
With a ‘je ne sais pas’ sort of ring
For the thingy’s a thing that could be anything
Yet a thing that by all things defined
Is a thingy – you know – a thingy, thing thing
When the name escapes recall and mind!
So let’s hear it for thingies all over the world
The nonsense we utter when words
Evade definition, instead being known
As a thingy – so quaint and absurd!
Despite the odd glitch with autocorrect, I’m a bit of a stickler for correct spelling, but having come across the following sign the other day which in all fairness, in spite of the interesting spelling, remained perfectly understandable, I started to wonder if good spelling is actually as important as we make out it is in the broader sense.
My question regarding spelling
Is whether it’s important at all
For when all’s said and all is done
Do we fail to recall
Words from our massive lexicon
When letters mix a bit
Because as text and shortening show
We seem to make them fit
Into some rhyme and reason
That then makes perfect sense
So is spelling important
Or do we sit on the fence
And neither condemn or criticise
More so ensure that we
Reach out to one another
So tell – what is your verdict
Putting aside a while
The rules and regulations
And rigid rank and file
Where spelling is important
Non-negotiable let’s say
With words spelt from the dictionary
Just perfect in every way
With letters all in order
Lined up in standard form
Is this of prime importance
Or can we tip the norm
And mash them just a little
Into a jumbled mess
So long as folk communicate
Less orthographic stress!
What happened to the humble apostrophe?
The grammatical code that implies
That you’re is not your
And they’re is not there
Whenever it isn’t applied
What happened to spelling and structure?
As rules are abandoned and lost
Is English now English?
Or has it just gone?
And then at what price and what cost?
For it seems now that anything goes
For modern language appears to be bored
With these things that once thrived
Without second glance
All now labelled passé and ignored
We use abbreviations all the time now and now more so on Twitter where we are limited to 150 characters! This poem is dedicated to “Twitter Tongue”. It could be an epic fail but the idea is that you read the abbreviations out in full “English”. It’s actually harder than you think to write especially as I’ve tried to get it to rhyme but good luck! There’s a translation at the end!
PRT DA RT
You only live once
Shout out! Laugh out loud!
In my humble opinion
People follow the crowd!
Because as far as I know
With Follow Friday
Please retweet the retweet
And have a nice day!
The mirror past invisibility
To see what otherwise might not be seen
The way to the destination
To visit places otherwise out of reach
The connection through space
To meet those otherwise never to be met
The key to the past
The portal to the future
The acquisition of knowledge; of language
And the hand of communication
Edifying mankind by text
Why is it when we’re younger we
Have certain words drilled out?
Out of our minds, our lexicon
To never hear them shout
Some words that from our brain are banned
Or else they’ll be our vice
Such words that have done nothing wrong
Like, for example, nice!
I mean, whatever did that word
Just do to gravitate
All teachers on the planet to
Say “No! The word I hate!”
This word that sums up perfectly
When something is just fine!
Despite the fact that there might be
More synonyms refined
For simple “nice” has been bullied
Rejected some might say
But how else can we then just wish
Each one a real ‘nice’ day!
Jabber, gibber, twaddle, gabble
The name of gibberish
An infectious English parlez
Of language in a dish
Serving verbal utter nonsense
With bunkum blabber free
For gobbledygook and drivel
And fun linguistically
For whether esoteric or
Pretentious and quite vague
Our gibberish so garbled goes
Right down a twaddle plague
What is it with the “ie” sound that
We add to end of words
For you might think it’s rather cute
But I think “how absurd!”
For by adding such an ending
We start to sound like mice
Particularly when spoken out
Not once but twice or thrice!
So my lovelies in your onsies
Please take a selfie do
But don’t forget these words exist
Without that “ie” sound too 🙂