Rudolf’s In Such Trouble

Rudolf’s in such trouble
He’s been so very bad
He took a sleigh out by himself
And now Santa’s real sad

He thought he’d have a jolly
A little bit of fun
For it is said an Elf dared him
To go out for a run

They’d had their Christmas party
And all had gone to bed
Bar Rudolf and the naughty Elf
Who went outside instead!

They both were a bit tipsy
From all the Christmas punch
So thought they’d hop aboard the sleigh
Said they’d be back for lunch

But then disaster happened
For out near the North Pole
They crashed the sleigh and wrecked it
As they lost all control

And so shamefaced they walked back
To Santa who was cross
Who sent them to their quarters
With nowt but reindeer moss

For he was very angry
Disappointed and dismayed
That Rudolf could have been so bad
Why on earth had he strayed?

So Santa sat and thought long
He ummed and he then arghed
For driving drunk the famous sleigh
Meant he must now be hard

He loved Rudolf so dearly
But he had gone too far
For he had risked the Christmas Flight
Round world past Northern Star

He’d put all children’s wishes
On hold just for a dare
And Santa knew his punishment
Must match the crime; be fair

And so he summoned Rudolf
To go before his court
Where sentence was then handed down
Leaving Rudolf distraught

For he was told his actions
Had been so very poor
That he would not be on the Sleigh
That Christmastime for sure

Oh Rudolf wailed and wobbled
His bottom lip and cried
Why had he been so silly
To have this ride denied

But despite his protestations
The court would not be moved
For Rudolf had to stay at home
Until he had improved

And so on Christmas Eve
He’ll not be out that night
Drawing Santa upon his Sleigh
With red nose shining bright

Instead he’ll have to stay at home
His Christmas fun deprived
For it is not acceptable
To ever drink and drive!

By Jon Nickles (U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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Christmas Thanks

So Christmas is now over
The turkey’s paid the price
The tree is looking jaded
The wine’s been mulled with spice

The bins are overflowing
The bottles all lined up
Relations have been tested
By sharing the same cup

The presents are all opened
The games have all been played
Carols sung, the music gone
In a festal time displayed

And now as it has ended
Gone for another year
Let’s not forget Santa Claus
And give the man a beer

And spare a thought for all the team
Now back at the North Pole
After their exhausting journey
With reindeer on patrol

And any other person
Who didn’t get a rest
Let’s toast them for their service
With thankfulness expressed