Divorce

The energy so static
The air so biting cold
The love between lovers gone
Lost in the days of old

The malice and malevolence
The nastiness and spite
The sheer degree of bitterness
In horrid divorce fight

For he now looks at her
With condemnation cruel
And she regards his being with
Contempt – her surging fuel

With greed now on the table
Where once two hearts were one
But there will be no winners for
This battle can’t be won

And everyone’s a loser when
Such acrimony hits
Such sadness, devastation –
Love thrown into lion pits

I wrote this as I witnessed two adults spatting the other day in public over their financial settlement.  It is so sad when the greatest of love dissolves but sadder still when there is so much hatred and bitterness connected to it and no more so than when money is lighting that fire. 

Divorce (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Sibling Rivalry

Why do my boys flick pencils
At each other’s ears?
A way of sibling rivalry
That’s been going on for years

An odd thing some might ponder
Flinging pens about
But at least I should be thankful
As they smile and seldom shout!

Think Before You Speak

My Mum said “Hey the sky is blue”
My Dad “The grass is green”
And Gran said “Look there sits a cat”
And Teacher “That’s the Queen”
And Mrs Smith just down the road
Said “What a horrid day”
And each one always tells the truth
They mean just what they say

Then to me Mum said “How stupid”
And Dad said “Hey, silly”
And Gran said “Be good for your Mum”
And Teacher “So naughty”
And Mrs Smith just down the road
Said “What an ugly view”
So if they all tell me the truth
They must mean me not you!

For as we know the sky is blue
The grass is always green
And I know Gran did see that cat
My teacher saw the queen
So I guess I must be stupid
And silly or not good
And naughty or just plain ugly
For the truth is understood!

An icon illustrating a parent and child (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Cycle of Life

There’s a somewhat cyclic pattern
That reveals throughout the years
From childhood times to adulthood
And into old age steers

For once I was a small baby
A young and helpless child
An infant needing comfort still
And succour undefiled

With childish way and joyfulness
I skipped and hopped and played
A carefree, fun existence with
Such innocent charade

Then into adolescence went
With hormones steaming fast
Discovering much more of life
Identities to last

The leaving home to venture off
And time for student ways
To make the world a better place
Those pure idyllic days

Before the time of settling down
With partners and broad smiles
And maybe starting a new job
Or career to last the miles

Then hear the cry of baby some
Parenting starts to dawn
The now due pitter patter of
Small feet or sleepy yawn

Before middle age encroaches
Time to consolidate
The changes physiological
Some good; some not so great

The senior years advancing with
Grey locks and wrinkled face
The dawn of life’s reflecting time
Towards old age with grace

Then arrives the final chapter
Old age so rich and wise
I’ll take the time to contemplate
No mask now; no disguise

Time to again accept a hand
That care’s with love and more
To ease towards the last curtain
With childlike eyes and awe

For there is a cyclic pattern
That reveals throughout the years
From childhood times to adulthood
And into old age steers

 

The Cloud That Masks The Sun

My Dad left us when I was young
I knew not what to do
He said that life was sad for him
To stay right there with you

He said the past had been real bad
Like treading on eggshells
That there was more for him out there
Than staying in this hell

He said there was another Mum
Much better than my own
That she was such a nice person
A new Mum to be known

He said he’d still be there for me
“I’m still your Dad, you know”
But how could he hate Mum so much?
Why did he have to go?

I simply needed just one thing
For Mum and Dad to be
Together now and to recall
That they had BOTH made me

I wanted all the pain to go
For peace – stability
To see the sun come out and shine
For some tranquillity

I needed time to contemplate
To find myself again
I needed space to chill a bit
For I was only ten

I needed time to understand
To try and fathom out
Why adults do these horrid things
That mean they then walk out

I wanted life to carry on
Just like it was before
I wanted unconditional love
To walk right through the door

I didn’t want to hear from Dad
What I should think and do
I wanted him to put me first
And be quite contrite too

But that just didn’t quite pan out
He didn’t hear me say
Why I was sad and what I felt
What hurt me on that day

He just made up his own version
Of events to overcome
His despondency and sense of guilt
The things that made him glum

And so we parted company
It broke my heart in two
For all I needed him to say was
“We’re still both here for you!”

And so the story carries on
A man without his son
And son without his father there
The cloud that masks the sun

 Parental Alienation occurs usually due to divorce or separation where a child expresses unjustified dislike or hatred towards the other parent.  This often results in access to the rejected parent being impeded and restricted unnecessarily and is often said to have occurred due to the negative influences of the non-rejected parent most commonly the parent who the child resides with.  However, on occasions it can be the other way round with the rejected parent causing the situation through their own negativity.  The term does not apply in child abuse cases where the rejection is the result of a child protecting themselves.  The call therefore needs to go to all parents in a split to put aside personal differences, to honour an ethos of love, respect and responsibility for their child to embrace the fact that their children have a dual parentage heritage so that children do not lose contact with either parents in this situation.  For further reading you might like to visit http://resetparenting.com/2012/06/08/paternal-alienation/

 

Testing Mum!

“I love you! Just not your behaviour!”
Mum smiled wanting to say
“Come on you brat you’re pushing me
You’re getting in my way
You’re plucking all my nerves
And pushing buttons so
You’re driving me quite crazy
It’s either me or you to go”

“You’re becoming quite a terror
I’m stressed beyond compare
I don’t get why you’re acting up
Now watch out and just beware
‘Cos if I really lose my rag
You’ll know it just you see
I’ll tell your DAD. You just wait!
You’ll go without your tea!”

But instead she smiled so sweetly
Bit her tongue – braced herself
As she loved that little rascal
Even when he was an elf
So she stopped before she started
And looked him in the eye
Holding back she took a deep breath
For he had no alibi

And then she quite calmly said it
Those words that meant so much
“I love you! Just not your behaviour
So sort it out and get in touch!
In touch and find that nicer lad
‘Cos recall there’ll be a fine
If you continue down this road
And fail to toe the line!”

Then she continued in the same vein
Without emotion or despair
Pulling him up so very short
He knew she was being fair
For everything she said was right
And he knew he had been wrong
But most of all by all accounts
He’d changed before too long!

Adolescence

If you ask a teenager anything
There’s one thing they will agree
That the older generation
Don’t have sex but just drink tea
For they think they’re really all too old
And only dare partake
In cordial conversation or
At most a small hand shake

And as for these adolescents’ parents
Well heaven must forbid
The thought of their mums and dads at parties
Come on! Their oldies surely never lived!
And when it comes to sporting prowess,
The games and medals won
The muffin tops and double chins
Suggest those times are now long gone!

Whilst the stories from the old days
Get taken with a pinch of salt
Any idea that a parent comprehends
Is “totes weird” as a default!
And forget empathy and understanding
When parents want the best
For a teen perception takes this to mean
We’ll hound you like a pest

So to all parents rearing teenagers
If you want to still relate
Look at their now and future
For your past is out of date
And smile just oh so quietly
Cos there’s one thing to admit
That years ago you said the same
When you were young and fit!

 

Audio visual:  Please click here http://youtu.be/H33mB-CDAi8

It’s Truly More Than DNA

Look out parents don’t delay
It’s truly more than DNA
For children are a blend of two
Their genes for sure and their milieu!

“Their environment?  How come?”  you say.
But it can rewire on the way,
And make a difference; manipulate
Your kids into a different state.

So when you parent and drag them on
Beware for it can go so wrong!
Instead encourage, support and care
With abundant love right in there!

For the environment is absolute
In choosing not to rear a brute
And raising angels all the way
For it’s truly more than DNA!

 

You’re Dad

Your silver hair
Your glistening eyes
Your candid smile
Your wisdom wise
Your warmth and love
Your support and care
Your hand to steady
You’re always there
Your constancy
Your peace, accord
Your total love
Yourself adored
Your honesty
Your integral heart
You’re here and now
You’re from the start
Your loyalty
Your wholesomeness
You’re life’s elixir
You’re Dad – I’m blessed!

On Father’s Day 2013 for my amazing Dad!