Rudolf’s In Such Trouble

Rudolf’s in such trouble
He’s been so very bad
He took a sleigh out by himself
And now Santa’s real sad

He thought he’d have a jolly
A little bit of fun
For it is said an Elf dared him
To go out for a run

They’d had their Christmas party
And all had gone to bed
Bar Rudolf and the naughty Elf
Who went outside instead!

They both were a bit tipsy
From all the Christmas punch
So thought they’d hop aboard the sleigh
Said they’d be back for lunch

But then disaster happened
For out near the North Pole
They crashed the sleigh and wrecked it
As they lost all control

And so shamefaced they walked back
To Santa who was cross
Who sent them to their quarters
With nowt but reindeer moss

For he was very angry
Disappointed and dismayed
That Rudolf could have been so bad
Why on earth had he strayed?

So Santa sat and thought long
He ummed and he then arghed
For driving drunk the famous sleigh
Meant he must now be hard

He loved Rudolf so dearly
But he had gone too far
For he had risked the Christmas Flight
Round world past Northern Star

He’d put all children’s wishes
On hold just for a dare
And Santa knew his punishment
Must match the crime; be fair

And so he summoned Rudolf
To go before his court
Where sentence was then handed down
Leaving Rudolf distraught

For he was told his actions
Had been so very poor
That he would not be on the Sleigh
That Christmastime for sure

Oh Rudolf wailed and wobbled
His bottom lip and cried
Why had he been so silly
To have this ride denied

But despite his protestations
The court would not be moved
For Rudolf had to stay at home
Until he had improved

And so on Christmas Eve
He’ll not be out that night
Drawing Santa upon his Sleigh
With red nose shining bright

Instead he’ll have to stay at home
His Christmas fun deprived
For it is not acceptable
To ever drink and drive!

By Jon Nickles (U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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Santa’s Wish List

Have you ever stopped and wondered
That Santa might get bored
Of mince pies, port, brandy and wine
When he is all aboard
His laden frosty sleigh
Out there on Christmas Eve
Away from elves and family
That he might make believe
Of lists of gifts he’d really love
The things he’d like the best
If Father Christmas came to him
And gave him a days rest?

Have you ever thought what he’d ask for
Things that would bring a smile
To Santa’s face if he was graced
With time off once a while
For perhaps he’d ask for vodka
Or even Christmas cake
Maybe a festive sweater
Scarf, socks or garden rake
Or maybe a new reindeer
A friend to help Rudolf
Or possibly clubs and new balls
For North Polonian Golf

But in truth I think he’d ask for
More peace and harmony
A planet that knew only love
And true equality
A place where guns lay silent
Where all would be as one
With lighter hearts and wonder bright
Where each would get along
Where poverty was ended
Where all water was clean
Where jealousy diminished
Leaving grass so very green

And so on Christmas Eve
When children go to bed
Perhaps it’s time to think again
When man all dressed in red
Pops down your chimney quickly
To fill stockings by tree
For he who makes a difference
Will inspire each to surely
Help Santa have his wish list
Past mince pies on his way
To give the gifts he craves the most
Kindness this Christmas Day

Father Christmas (1991 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I Don’t Feel Very Christmassy

I don’t feel very Christmassy
I don’t know what to do
So much to fit into the day
Is it the same for you?
For though that sounds a bit Grinch like
Damping the Christmas cheer
There’s always so much to get through
Just at this time of year

For Santa needs a letter writ
And presents must be bought
And cards filled out and posted quick
And special food be sought
And decorations must be hung
On trees lit with bright lights
As well as parties planned and such
That last into the night

Then crackers brought for added fun
And Christmas songs be sung
With stockings filled plus mince pies out
And yuletide bells be rung
And family activities
Must all be set in place
To make sure the best time is had
As Christmas is embraced

Yet through all this, I wonder if
We’ve lost sight of just what
Makes Christmas Christmas all the while
We may have lost the plot
And possibly forgotten that
It’s time to celebrate
A baby’s birth and family
To make Christmas first rate!

Nativity scene at Sacred Heart Catholic Church, in the historic Barelas neighborhood, Albuquerque, NM, Jan 2008. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Christmas Thanks

So Christmas is now over
The turkey’s paid the price
The tree is looking jaded
The wine’s been mulled with spice

The bins are overflowing
The bottles all lined up
Relations have been tested
By sharing the same cup

The presents are all opened
The games have all been played
Carols sung, the music gone
In a festal time displayed

And now as it has ended
Gone for another year
Let’s not forget Santa Claus
And give the man a beer

And spare a thought for all the team
Now back at the North Pole
After their exhausting journey
With reindeer on patrol

And any other person
Who didn’t get a rest
Let’s toast them for their service
With thankfulness expressed

 

Christmas

Just stop and hear the jingle bell
See reindeer pulling sleigh
As magic fills the air tonight
With Santa on his way

And hear the distant angels’ choir
Proclaim a baby’s birth
That fills the air with wonderment
Good tidings here on earth

Stand still and listen quietly
To families gathering round
With laughter, fun and yuletide cheer
The joyful Christmas sound

And look up to the dark night sky
To see a star shine bright
That led us to a stable bare
And to the Christ-child’s light

Then hush a while and contemplate
What Christmas holds in store
Salvation’s grace in peacefulness
With love and hope and more

 

iSanta Christmas

Oh what glee had overcome him
As he sat there on his chair
His white beard a-gleaming brightly
His red coat hung over there

And held right in his kindly hands
An iPad was his aid
To do his Christmas shopping on
Though the elves were now afraid

For was he really serious?
Could it possibly be true?
That Santa Claus had got the bug
Of cyber-shopping too?

And Rudolph kicked up quite a stink
And jangled his sleigh bell
For never had he thought he would
Be retired for DHL

But Mrs Claus was so happy
That her man was now online
A-googling and web-browsing
Knowing Christmas would be fine!